Average Annonymous

Hi I’m Jen and I’m average.  Average height,  average weight, average shoe size, average GPA…Average.  All my problems, addictions and anxieties, come from the painful awareness that I am average and want to be otherwise.  Dieting and eating disorders stem from wanting to be thinner than average.  As well as choices of clothing, accessories, and shoes, and being a consumptive consumer because I want to look taller, put together, extraordinary. When all along I’m just average with an average income shopping at Thrift shops, Walmart, Target, where average people shop. My relationships with boys then men…Sex…desiring to be special, and realizing if everyone is special then no one is…. they’re average.  There is no special someone.   Alcohol and drugs numb this awareness…they might even help me  imagine myself as otherwise..Hallucinations.  All these  illusions of grandeur.  I’ve been exceptional either way, gifted or psychologically needy, they average out.   The Law of Averages “typically assumes that unnatural short-term balance must occur. Typical applications of the law also generally assume no bias in the underlying probability distribution, which is frequently at odds with the empirical evidence.” (Wikipedia).  Which is to say the statistics are not proportional.  The fact is there are more average people then not.  So what’s wrong with being average?